Review: New "Conan the Barbarian" is Gleefully Lunatic

TRASH IN MY EYE No. 98 (of 2011) by Leroy Douresseaux

Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Running time: 113 minutes (1 hour, 53 minutes)
MPAA – R for strong bloody violence, some sexuality and nudity
DIRECTOR: Marcus Nispel
WRITERS: Thomas Dean Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer, and Sean Hood (based upon the character, Conan, created by Robert E. Howard)
PRODUCERS: John Baldecchi, Boaz Davidson, Randall Emmett, Joe Gatta, Avi Lerner, Danny Lerner, Fredrik Malmberg, and Les Weldon
CINEMATOGRAPHER: Thomas Kloss
EDITOR: Ken Blackwell
COMPOSER: Tyler Bates

FANTASY/ACTION

Starring: Jason Momoa, Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan, Bob Sapp, Leo Howard, Steven O’Donnell, Nonso Anozie, Saïd Taghmaoui, Milton Welsh, and Morgan Freeman (narrator)

Conan the Barbarian is a fictional character created by Robert E. Howard. Conan first appeared in publication in the December 1932 issue of Weird Tales in the short story, “The Phoenix on the Sword.” Howard featured Conan in several short stories, but only one novel. After Howard’s death, other authors would write Conan novels, and the character has also appeared in comic books nearly non-stop since 1970.

The character is best known, outside of people who read fantasy fiction and comic books, for his appearance in two films from the early 1980s. Arnold Schwarzenegger portrayed Conan in Conan the Barbarian (1982) and Conan the Destroyer (1984). After over two decades, Conan returned to movie screens in Conan the Barbarian, a 2011 action/fantasy film and sword and sorcery movie. In the new film, Conan seeks revenge against the ambitious and ruthless warlord who killed his father.

After his father, Corin (Ron Perlman), is killed and his entire village murdered, young Conan (Leo Howard) swears revenge. The killer is an empire-building warlord, Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang), who wants to reassemble the Mask of Acheron, an ancient relic that will give him the power to conquer the world. The story picks up 20 years later and finds Conan (Jason Momoa) a pirate living amongst the Zamoran pirates led by Artus (Nonso Anozie).

Fate brings Conan into contact with one of the men who raided his village. From this man, Conan learns that Zym and his sorceress daughter, Marique (Rose McGowan), are searching for a pureblood descendant of the necromancers that made the Mask of Archeron. They find that descendant in the form of Tamara Amaliat Jorui Karushan (Rachel Nichols), a young woman living in a monastery, but Conan gets Tamara first. This begins a battle between Conan and Zym that will decide the fate of the world.

There are so many fantasy films in theatres that are aimed at the family audience or, at least, general audiences, including females. Conan the Barbarian is aimed squarely at males, but mainly at males whose balls dropped more than a few years ago. Speaking of balls: Conan the Barbarian is balls to the wall in terms of the sheer lunacy thrown on the screen. This movie is hardcore – even more so than the darker Conan the Barbarian and certainly more than its lighter, PG-rated sequel, Conan the Destroyer. Hacking, slashing, a bloody caesarean, beheadings, torture, topless wenches, mass murder, and assorted depictions of gore and brutal murder: this is the real Conan, steeped in the violent and edgy material of weird pulp fiction.

Visually, Conan the Barbarian looks like a Robert E. Howard Conan story should look. There are swarthy pirates, hefty warriors, comely maidens and wenches, reptilian witches, and miscreants of all sizes and shapes. Barbarian villages dot the landscape; ruined fortresses protrude from rocky outcroppings; a monastery hides beyond a cavernous pass; immense castles and structures reach for the sky; and deceptively fast ships cut across the sea.

Conan the Barbarian does have its problems. The movie is a little too long, and, without spoiling, I can say that some of the places the story sends Conan don’t seem to make much sense. It is as if the film is simply being stretched or the story padded. Some of the action scenes work very well, but others are simply extraneous or gratuitous.

The characters are bit shallow, but the actors make the most of them. I would describe the performances as grand and flamboyant rather than over the top. Rose McGowan is a hoot as the conniving, vicious Marique. Stephen Lang brings to this movie the same aggressive physicality he brought to Avatar as the villain, Colonel Miles Quaritch. It is difficult for me to separate Arnold Schwarzenegger from Conan, but I like Jason Momoa’s take on the character. Momoa’s Conan is younger, leaner, and meaner; he is like a wolverine and a panther.

Overall, I like this new Conan the Barbarian. Visually, aesthetically, and in the story, it reminds me of many of the Conan comic books that I read as a kid, especially The Savage Sword of Conan. With its disappointing box office, there likely won’t be a sequel, but the new Conan the Barbarian deserves one.

7 of 10
B+

Saturday, November 26, 2011

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"Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" a Good Trip

TRASH IN MY EYE No. 97 (of 2011) by Leroy Douresseaux


Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
Running time: 137 minutes (2 hours, 17 minutes)
MPAA – PG-13 for intense sequences of action/adventure violence and some frightening images
DIRECTOR: Rob Marshall
WRITERS: Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio; from a screen story by Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio (based upon characters created by Stuart Beattie, Jay Wolpert, and Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio; suggested by the novel, On Stranger Tides, by Tim Powers, and based upon Walt Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean)
PRODUCER: Jerry Bruckheimer
CINEMATOGRAPHER: Dariusz Wolski (D.o.P.)
EDITORS: David Brenner, Michael Kahn, and Wyatt Smith
COMPOSER: Hans Zimmer

ACTION/FANTASY/ADVENTURE

Starring: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, Kevin McNally, Sam Clafin, Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, Stephen Graham, Richard Griffiths, Greg Ellis, Damian O’Hare, Judi Dench, and Keith Richards

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is a 2011 fantasy adventure film and pirate movie. It is also the fourth movie in the film franchise that began with Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl in 2003. This film draws its inspiration from the 1987 historical fantasy novel, On Stranger Tides, by Tim Powers. On Stranger Tides the movie has the world’s most infamous pirates on a quest to find the Fountain of Youth.

After failing to rescue his first mate, Joshamee Gibbs (Kevin McNally), Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is taken before King George II of England (Richard Griffiths). The King forces Jack to guide an expedition to find the Fountain of Youth. Much to his chagrin, Jack discovers that his old nemesis, Captain Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), is heading the expedition.

Jack escapes and learns that someone is pretending to be him and is enlisting a crew for a rival expedition to find the Fountain. Then, he crosses paths with a woman from his past, the lovely Spaniard, Angelica (Penelope Cruz), and her father, the ruthless pirate, Blackbeard (Ian McShane), who uses voodoo magic and possesses supernatural powers and a magical sword. Kidnapped and taken aboard Blackbeard’s ship, the Queen Anne’s Revenge, Jack is forced to guide Blackbeard’s expedition to find the Fountain of Youth. This journey will take Jack places where nothing is as it seems and connect him with people who never tell the truth. And who is more dangerous – Blackbeard or Angelica?

I avoided going to the theatre this past summer to see Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides because, quite frankly, I’d had enough of the franchise. I liked the first film; really hated the second (Dead Man’s Chest); and really liked the third (At World’s End), but I was exhausted of the repeated showings of the films, especially the second and third, on various cable networks.

The first good move the filmmakers made with On Stranger Tides was to strip it down of characters and elements. It’s still ostentatious and is still filled with big set pieces, big action scenes, and big characters, and there are actors willing to give the kind of loud performances that bring these flamboyant characters to life.

After saying that, I know that it is hard to believe that it is possible for this gaudy, immodest Hollywood franchise to be stripped down. However, only three characters from the earlier films return for On Stranger Tides: Jack Sparrow, Hector Barbossa, and Joshamee Gibbs. Rather than have several subplots stretched over multiple locales, On Stranger Tides focuses on Sparrow, Barbossa, Blackbeard, and Angelica’s quest to find the Fountain of Youth, which involves only three locales: England, the sea, and Whitecap Bay (the area where the Fountain can be found). Screenwriters Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio basically create a straight line from mission start, the quest, and the goal – beginning, middle, and end – without too much in the way of side stories or sidetracks.

I think the addition of two fine actors, Ian McShane and Penelope Cruz as Blackbeard and Angelica respectively, was the move that paid off most for On Stranger Tides. Both are good characters and they add freshness to this franchise. It is as if On Stranger Tides exists outside the other films, which is a good thing. The audience doesn’t need to have seen the other films to enjoy this one. Indeed, some may need to forget the first three in order to give this lively and entertaining, big budget flick the benefit of the doubt.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is everything you liked about the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise (exotic locales, eccentric characters, the supernatural, etc.) without a horde of characters. Now, there is no reason not to like it.

7 of 10
B+

Friday, November 25, 2011

Review: "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead's Man Chest" a Bloated Corpse

TRASH IN MY EYE No. 146 (of 2006) by Leroy Douresseaux

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)
Running time: 2 hours, 31 minutes
MPAA – PG-13 for intense sequences of adventure violence, including frightening images
DIRECTOR: Gore Verbinski
WRITERS: Ted Elliot & Terry Rossio (based upon characters created by Stuart Beattie, Jay Wolpert, and Elliot & Rossio and Walt Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean)
PRODUCER: Jerry Bruckheimer
CINEMATOGRAPHER: Dariusz Walski
EDITOR: Stephen E. Rivkin and Craig Wood
Academy Award winner

FANTASY/ADVENTURE/DRAMA/COMEDY

Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport, Bill Nighy, Jonathan Pryce, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Cook, Kevin McNally, David Bailie, Stellan Skarsgård, Tom Hollander, Geoffrey Rush, Naomie Harris

When Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl debuted in early July 2003, it had already received mixed reviews from the nation’s major movie critics – many of them deriding the film for having been derived from the Walt Disney theme park ride, “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Disney certainly expected the film to be a hit, but surely they didn’t think it would gross just over $305 million in domestic box office take or go on to do just under $654 million in worldwide business. The Curse of the Black Pearl was the proverbial dumb and silly film that was very well made, a fantasy adventure that caught the imaginations of a broad audience, in particularly that all-important summer demographic – the family. Johnny Depp even earned an Oscar nomination for playing Pirates’ charming rogue of an anti-hero, Captain Jack Sparrow. All in all, this movie delightfully surprised me when I expected so little.

The first of two sequels just opened. Ironically, this new film, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, actually turned out to be the un-fun dumb movie that I expected the first to one to be. It’s everything bad summer movies usually are – full of sound and fury signifying nothing, nothing, and nothing again.

Dead Man’s Chest opens to find the first film’s young lovers, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom, seems bored with this part) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley, ditto), imprisoned for aiding and abetting Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp impersonating a robot impersonating him from the first Pirates movie). The couple’s nemesis is Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), a British official with warrants for their arrests, as well as that of Sparrow, but Beckett’s really after something else. Will makes a deal with Beckett that would free him and Elizabeth, but Will has to find Sparrow and retrieve Sparrow’s apparently enchanted compass for Beckett. Elizabeth later escapes prison with the aid of her father, Governor Weatherby Swann (Jonathan Pryce), and makes her own deal with Beckett to find Sparrow.

Meanwhile, we learn that 13-years ago or so, Sparrow made a deal with cursed sea captain, Davy Jones (played by Bill Nighy with much assistance from CGI). For the cost of his soul, Sparrow got to be captain of a ship, the Black Pearl. Now, Jones, who has an octopus-like head, has returned from the gloomy ocean depths to claim his payment: Sparrow must hand himself over to Jones’ servitude and join the other sea phantoms aboard Jones’ ghostly ship, the Flying Dutchman. Sparrow’s only way out is to give Jones 100 souls in exchange for his one, but Sparrow doesn’t intend to honor even that deal. Sparrow intends to find the dead man’s chest. Buried in some secret location, it holds Davy Jones still-beating heart. The man or woman who possesses it can destroy Jones and/or rule the seas. Sparrow, however, isn’t the only one who wants the treasure of the dead man’s chest, and the fight to find it means that Jack Sparrow may not meet his deadline to appease Davy Jones.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest looks and sounds exactly like the first film, but whereas the first film was fun and filled with the spirit of adventure, Dead Man’s Chest is much darker. Magic and curses play a larger part, and the lead characters: Sparrow, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swann are all in much more peril. That makes for a film rotten with the stench of gloom, doom, and peril, which wouldn’t be bad if that made Dead Man’s Chest a good movie. Like everything else in this flick (acting, directing, shamelessness, etc.), this dark mood lands with resounding thud.

Dead Man’s Chest is noisy and ponderous, a lazy flick that goes nowhere. It begins well enough with an island misadventure – Sparrow, his Black Pearl crew, and Will Turner engaging in a madcap escape from a tribe of cannibals, but that’s the only bit of slapstick from this flick that recalls the original. It has a lot of potential, with many of the scenes and sub-plots ripe to deliver a good time, but ultimately the moviemakers just fumble it away. It’s hard to believe, but after 2½ hours, this movie goes nowhere. Dead Man’s Chest is just a setup for the third film in this franchise, which is currently titled, Pirates of the Caribbean: The World’s End (the second and third films were shot back-to-back). Dead Man’s Chest seems like the chopped-off half of a longer story because it is. I only hope that this next film, scheduled for release Summer 2007, is the better half.

3 of 10
C-

Saturday, July 08, 2006

NOTES:
2007 Academy Awards: 1 win for “Best Achievement in Visual Effects” (John Knoll, Hal T. Hickel, Charles Gibson, and Allen Hall); 3 nominations for “Best Achievement in Art Direction” (Rick Heinrichs, art director and Cheryl Carasik, set decorator), “Best Achievement in Sound Editing” (Christopher Boyes, George Watters II), and “Best Achievement in Sound Mixing” (Paul Massey, Christopher Boyes, Lee Orloff)


2007 BAFTA Awards: 1 win for “Best Achievement in Special Visual Effects” (John Knoll, Hal T. Hickel, Charles Gibson, and Allen Hall); and four nominations for costume design, make up/hair, production design, and sound


2007 Golden Globes: 1 nomination for actor-motion picture comedy/musical (Johnny Depp)

Review: "At World's End" Excellent Conclusion to Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy

TRASH IN MY EYE No. 03 (of 2010) by Leroy Douresseaux

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)
Running time: 168 minutes (2 hours, 48 minutes)
MPAA – PG-13 for intense sequences of action/adventure violence and some frightening images
DIRECTOR: Gore Verbinski
WRITERS: Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio; based upon characters created by Stuart Beattie, Jay Wolpert, and Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio and based upon the Walt Disney theme park attraction
PRODUCER: Jerry Bruckheimer
CINEMATOGRAPHER: Dariusz Wolski (D.o.P.)
EDITORS: Stephen Rivkin and Craig Wood
Academy Award nominee

ACTION/FANTASY/ADVENTURE

Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush, Bill Nighy, Tom Hollander, Naomie Harris, Chow Yun-Fat, Jack Davenport, Jonathan Pryce, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Cook, Kevin McNally, Stellan Skarsgård, and Keith Richards

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End is an extravagant, entertaining, and exciting finish to the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, which hit a bump with the middle segment, the hugely boring, excessive, and gaudy CGI lump, Dead Man’s Chest.

Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) are allied with the resurrected Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) in a desperate quest to free Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) from the surreal and mind-bending afterlife trap that is Davy Jones' locker. The trio strikes a deal with the Chinese Pirate lord, Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat), for a map to guide them to Davy Jones’ locker.

Meanwhile, Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander) of the East India Trading Company has control of the terrifying ghost ship, The Flying Dutchman, and its captain, Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). Doing Beckett’s bidding, Jones and the Dutchman wreak havoc across the Seven Seas, destroying all pirate vessels and helping Beckett achieve his dream of ending piracy.

To save their way of life, Barbossa calls for a truly rare event, a meeting of the Brethren Court, a council the gathers the nine pirate lords of the Seven Seas. Treachery, however, abounds. Both Jack Sparrow and Will Turner secretly plot behind their colleagues’ backs – Sparrow to rid himself of his debt to Davy Jones and Turner to free his father “Bootstrap” Bill Turner (Stellan Skarsgård) from the Dutchman. All must ultimately choose a side in a final, titanic battle, as their lives, fortunes, and the entire future of the freedom-loving pirate way, hangs in the balance.

Amusing and exciting: I can say that about Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, but I certainly couldn’t say that about its predecessor, Dead Man’s Chest (2006). Whereas Dead Man’s Chest was painfully boring, exceedingly dull, and came across a mere filler material between the beginning and end of this story, At World’s End is showy (with costumes and production design that is so lavish it would give the Bourbons pause), amusing (a delightfully spry comedy for such a big budget production), and exciting (a whirlwind adventure that seems to span the seven seas, told in storytelling that is brisk and efficient).

Like they did in the original film, director Gore Verbinski and his stunt and special effects crew blended live action and CGI with such ease that the viewer might have a hard time separating solid realism from the magical un-real of Hollywood FX. In overseeing such an impressive blend of live action stunts and CGI wizardry (perhaps the best union of the two ever put on screen at that time), Verbinksi’s work was worthy of an Oscar nomination (which it didn’t get).

Verbinski’s success in directing this movie was also evident in the performances of his cast. Johnny Deep made Jack Sparrow a richer more dramatic character, and not just caricature fit for no more than merchandising. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley brought a touch of romantic drama to their characters’ storyline, and in their own way, transformed At World’s End from merely a summer blockbuster into an old-fashioned romantic adventure right out of the 19th century.

7 of 10
B+

NOTES:
2008 Academy Awards: 2 nominations for “Best Achievement in Makeup” (Ve Neill, Martin Samuel) and “Best Achievement in Visual Effect” (John Knoll, Hal T. Hickel, Charlie Gibson, John Frazier)


2008 BAFTA Awards: 1 nomination for “Best Special Visual Effects” (John Knoll, Hal T. Hickel, Charlie Gibson, John Frazier)

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