Razzie Worst Picture Winner? "Gigli" is Not that Bad

TRASH IN MY EYE No. 120 (of 2003) by Leroy Douresseaux

Gigli (2003)
Running time: 121 minutes (2 hours, 1 minute)
MPAA – R for sexual content, pervasive language and brief strong violence
WRITER/DIRECTOR: Martin Brest
PRODUCERS: Martin Brest and Casey Silver
CINEMATOGRAPHER: Robert Elswit
EDITOR: Julie Monroe and Billy Weber
Razzie Award winner

CRIME/DRAMA/ROMANCE

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bartha, Lenny Venito, Christopher Walken, Al Pacino, and Lanie Kazan

A little more than half way through the year 2003, Martin Brest's (Beverly Hills Cop, Scent of a Woman) Gigli may be the worst reviewed movie of the year, but it is by no means the worst movie I’ve seen this year. Thus far, that would be the dreadful Legally Blonde sequel. Gigli is entertaining and has enough raunchy comedy that I would recommend it to anyone who can stomach something like Pulp Fiction or it’s Baby Gap version, Go. Anyone who is a fan of Affleck or Ms. Lopez shouldn’t miss this for the world. It’s not a matter of the film being that bad, considering that many people will give anything a shot, especially once a movie is on home video, Gigli pretty much runs with the pack in terms of quality (or lack thereof).

Larry Gigli (Ben Affleck) is a lowly thug with a penchant for delivering the pain when his mob boss Louis (Lenny Venito) demands it. He’s assigned to kidnap Brian (Justin Bartha), the mentally retarded brother of powerful federal prosecutor. Louis doesn’t trust Gigli not to screw up the job, so he sends in Ricki (Jennifer Lopez), another contract specialist, to watch over Larry. After some initial hard feelings, Larry falls for Ricki, but when she promptly informs him that she is gay, Gigli realizes that it may be a hard road to travel before he gets in her drawers.

More than anything, I think Gigli’s problems lie in Martin Brest’s script. I don’t at all mind the lewd and crude humor and scenes or the idiosyncratic characters. What I do mind is that Brest’s assumes that all the odd bits should make up for what is essentially a lightweight tale of star-crossed lovers and offbeat characters. In a sense, Gigli and Ricki should easily fall in love – after a period of struggling to accept each other’s oddities, of course. Instead the love story simply stumbles around its own plot twists: Ricki’s gay; she might be interested in men; she thinks Gigli’s in the closet; she really likes him, but she’s just not ready for a man.

Granted that there might be real life situations like this, but drama, art, and fiction should give the audience the payoff that real life will not. Even a love story about two polar opposites is supposed to deliver on the fact that this mismatched pair will eventually match up. Now, one of those “complex, art, awards season” films might get away with keeping the nothing-in-common lovers apart, but Gigli is, regardless of Brest’s intentions, throwaway entertainment. After all, a smart intelligent, Academy Award-genre film doesn’t rely on a mentally handicapped man singing rude rap songs or saying things like, “when my penis sneezes” for laughs.

Gigli wants to be a crime drama, but it’s only superficially so. There is some and crime and some drama, but it’s almost a movie without a genre. What saves Gigli are the often-hilarious lines and scenes, even the goofy ones like, “when my penis sneezes,” or “I tell my penis ‘God bless you’ when it sneezes.” I even enjoyed Ben and Jen playing twister with this crooked love story. Ben ably rises above the material to give a very good performance, only falling short when the script utterly fails him. Jen’s character is a crock, but she tries in spite of her limitations as an actress. Lanie Kazan (in a really low down and common role), Christopher Walken and Al Pacino make the most of their cameos, and Lenny Venito and Justin Bartha give solid supporting performances.

I’d see this again, because I like it in spite of the handicapped script. When it’s funny, it’s outrageous and as raw as anything Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy could deliver in their best days. And at the oddest moments, Gigli is sad, sweet, charming, and endearing. In a season of disposable action movies, Gigli is the odd man out, and worth seeing – either in the theatre or at home.

5 of 10
C+

NOTES:
2004 Razzie Award: 6 wins: “Worst Actor” (Ben Affleck), “Worst Actress” (Jennifer Lopez), “Worst Director” (Martin Brest), “Worst Picture” (Columbia and Revolution), “Worst Screen Couple” (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez), “Worst Screenplay” (Martin Brest); 3 nominations: “Worst Supporting Actor” (Al Pacino), “Worst Supporting Actor” (Christopher Walken) and “Worst Supporting Actress” Lainie Kazan)

"The King's Speech" Takes Upset Win at Producers Guild Awards

The Producers Guild of America held its Producers Guild Awards last night (Sat. Jan. 22nd), and they weren't on The Social Network's bandwagon.  The King’s Speech, the film dramatization of King George VI’s efforts to conquer his stuttering, won the PGA "Best Picture" Award.  Could this be the first bump on the road that is The Social Network's march to Oscar best picture glory?

This coming Saturday is the Screen Actors Guild Awards, and if The Social Network does not win the best ensemble award (SAG's equivalent of a best picture award), then the Oscar best picture award race is tighter than some of us think.

Anyway, until I can get the PGA press release, here is the winners' list:

Best Picture: The King’s Speech


Episodic TV, drama: Mad Men

Documentary: Waiting for Superman

Long Form TV: The Pacific

Live TV award: The Colbert Report

Animated Feature: Toy Story 3

Episodic Television Show, Comedy: Modern Family

Review: "Failure to Launch" Flies Alright

TRASH IN MY EYE No. 175 (of 2006) by Leroy Douresseaux

Failure to Launch (2006)
Running time: 97 minutes (1 hour, 37 minutes)
MPAA – PG-13 for sexual content, partial nudity, and language
DIRECTOR: Tom Dey
WRITERS: Tom J. Astle and Matt Ember
PRODUCERS: Scott Rudin and Scott Aversano
CINEMATOGRAPHER: Claudio Miranda
EDITOR: Steven Rosenblum

COMEDY/ROMANCE

Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Sarah Jessica Parker, Zooey Deschanel, Justin Bartha, Bradley Cooper, Kathy Bates, and Terry Bradshaw, Tyrell Jackson Williams, Rob Corddry, Patton Oswalt, Stephen Tobolowsky, Kate McGregor-Stewart, and Adam Alexi-Malle

Tripp (Matthew McConaughey) still lives with his parents, Sue and Al (Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw), and they’re desperate to push him out of the nest. They hire Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker), a relationship consultant. She’s a kind of professional interventionist who uses her tried-and-proved tactics to pretend to fall in love with a guy. Paula wants to make a client feel good about himself and improve his self-esteem to the point where he’s ready to live on his own. Paula, however, finds herself falling for Tripp, but what will she do if he finds out that his parents paid her to date him?

The concept behind Failure to Launch is dumb. It’s just a desperate film concoction with the specific purpose of creating one of those mismatched pair/star-crossed lovers scenarios – the kind of tale of unlikely love that audiences just love. What makes it work so well? It’s probably the cast, which itself seems mismatched, but somehow works together (and the chance to see former Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw in his birthday suit). Somehow through all the stupid things the characters did, through all the treacherous acts that people commit against the ones they love (the road to Hell…), and through the holes in both the concept and the plot, Failure to Launch left me humming with feel good satisfaction. It even made my cynicism smile.

6 of 10
B

Friday, August 11, 2006

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Review: Top Notch Performances are "The Cider House Rules"

TRASH IN MY EYE No. 141 (of 2003) by Leroy Douresseaux

The Cider House Rules (1999)
Running time:  126 minutes (2 hours, 6 minutes)
MPAA – PG-13 for mature thematic elements, sexuality, nudity, substance abuse and some violence
DIRECTOR: Lasse Halstrom
WRITER: John Irving (based upon his novel)
PRODUCER: Richard N. Gladstein
CINEMATOGRAPHER: Oliver Stapleton (D.o.P.)
EDITOR: Lisa Zeno Churgin
Academy Award winner

DRAMA

Starring: Tobey Maguire, Michael Caine, Charlize Theron, Delroy Lindo, Paul Rudd, Jane Alexander, Kathy Baker, Erykah Badu, Kieran Culkin, Kate Nelligan, Heavy D, and J.K. Simmons

Homer Wells (Tobey Maguire) has lived all his live in an orphanage. His de facto father, the orphanage’s lone physician and director, Dr. Wilbur Larch (Michael Caine), has trained Homer to be a doctor, learning the same things that Dr. Larch needed to be effective at the orphanage. One day, the compassionate young man decides to leave his home to see the world after meeting Candy Kendall, an unmarried, pregnant young woman (Charlize Theron), and her boyfriend, Lt. Wally Worthington (Paul Rudd). Wally gets Homer a job picking apples in his mother’s orchard with a crew of itinerant workers. Here, he meets the crew chief Mr. Arthur Rose (Delroy Lindo) and his daughter Rose Rose (singer Eryka Badu), which leads him to make the most important decisions of his young life.

Directed by Lasse Halstrom, The Cider House Rules is quite simply a beautiful, well crafted, and superbly acted film. It tugs at all the heartstrings, but the film does so by honestly dealing with emotions and decisions with which the audience can identify. More than anything, it is about making choices and sometimes having to make them when the obvious direction goes against personal beliefs. John Irving adapted his novel of the same title for the screen, and the story readily embraces the idea that a person can do something that makes life better for someone other than himself, even at the cost of personal satisfaction. This could have resulted in a film that was very dry and turned off the audience, but the director and writer weave the situation with such sincerity, grace, wit, and charm that we can’t help but see their view.

The cast is key to this because each actor helps to make his character sympathetic. When the audience sympathizes they will be open to a particular character’s ideas even if it’s counter to what they believe. And The Cider House Rules, which deals with issues of reproductive freedom, adoption, incest, rape, abortion, infidelity, certainly needs likeable characters to make the film enjoyable and not just tolerable.

Maguire is a very good actor; a pleasant young fellow with boyish good looks, he can win the viewer over. He literally carries this film on his back. He does have a kind of facial tick, something like a slight smirk, that seems to pop up at inopportune moments, but otherwise, he endows his characters with a young everyman sort of charm that is both winning and well done.

Seemingly the hardest working actor in the Western world, Michael Caine turns in one of the best performances of his career and earned a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for this role. While Homer’s life seems destined to mimic Dr. Larch’s, Caine’s turn as the doctor sets the philosophical agenda for this film, and he’s more than up to the challenge.

The Cider House Rules is a very good film, and is certainly a high achievement in the pantheon of film rudely called tearjerkers. More than just another weepy, it stands out as an attempt at really conveying something about the human condition, while still being very entertaining.

8 of 10
A

NOTES:
2000 Academy Awards: 2 wins: “Best Actor in a Supporting Role” (Michael Caine) and “Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published” (John Irving); 5 nominations: “Best Picture” (Richard N. Gladstein), “Best Art Direction-Set Decoration” (David Gropman-art director and Beth A. Rubino-set decorator), “Best Director” (Lasse Hallström), “Best Editing” (Lisa Zeno Churgin) and “Best Music, Original Score” (Rachel Portman)

2000 BAFTA Awards: 1 nomination: “Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role” (Michael Caine

2000 Black Reel Awards: 1 win: “Theatrical - Best Supporting Actress” (Erykah Badu); 1 nomination: “Theatrical - Best Supporting Actor” (Delroy Lindo)

2000 Golden Globes: 2 nominations: “Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture” (Michael Caine) and “Best Screenplay - Motion Picture” (John Irving)

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Liam Neeson Returns as Qui-Gon Jinn in Cartoon Network's Star Wars Series

Entertainment Weekly has an exciting exclusive for Clone Wars fans.  Liam Neeson will reprise his Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace role as doomed Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn on Cartoon Network’s "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" on January 28th and again on February 11th.  Neeson will provide the voice for Qui-Gon in two episodes of a three-episode arc about his former protégé Anakin Skywalker’s destiny as the Chosen One.  Qui-Gon will appear to Obi-Wan Kenobi in visions.

The series airs on Friday nights at 8:30 pm ET on Cartoon Network.  EW.com's article has an exclusive clip from Neeson’s first episode as he, in spectral form, confronts his former Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Review: Fun "Piranha" Paints the Town Red

TRASH IN MY EYE No. 7 (of 2011) by Leroy Douresseaux

Piranha (2010)
Running time: 88 minutes (1 hour, 28 minutes)
MPAA – R for sequences of strong bloody horror violence and gore, graphic nudity, sexual content, language and some drug use
DIRECTOR: Alexandre Aja
WRITERS: Peter Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg
PRODUCERS: Alexandre Aja, Mark Canton, Grégory Levasseur, and Marc Toberoff
CINEMATOGRAPHER: John R. Leonetti
EDITOR: Baxter

HORROR/COMEDY/THRILLER

Starring: Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Steven R. McQueen, Jessica Szohr, Adam Scott, Jerry O’Connell, Kelly Brook, Riley Steele, Christopher Lloyd, Eli Roth, Brooklynn Proulx, Sage Ryan, and Richard Dreyfuss

It was called “Piranha 3D” when it was released last summer, but Piranha, the latest film from horror movie director, Alexandre Aja, is a remake. In 1978, director Joe Dante unleashed a campy horror flick entitled Piranha that was a spoof of Steve Spielberg’s Jaws. I didn’t see the new film in 3D, but I doubt I would have liked it more if I had seen it in 3D instead of the way I did – regular D on DVD.

It’s Spring Break on Lake Victoria in Arizona. Scantily clad girls are shaking their melon-like ta-ta’s, swinging their curvy hips, and bouncing their ample asses. Strangely, as healthy as the girls look, the guys are scrawny, but they will still provide good meat for the waterborne death soon to come.

Sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) has her hands full trying to maintain order with an influx of rowdy college students. What she doesn’t know is that a small earthquake has split open the floor of Lake Victoria. From that chasm, a school of piranha has emerged from a subterranean lake. Sheriff Forester’s son, Jake (Steven R. McQueen), envies the fun everyone has while he has to baby sit his younger sister, Laura (Brooklyn Proulx), and younger brother, Zane (Sage Ryan). Fate has other plans for Jake, his family, his friends, and the visitors to Lake Victoria. The piranha are about to turn the lake into a bloody, killing field.

After the first 20 minutes or so of Piranha, I wanted everybody to die (even the two Forester children) because the movie seemed like it was going to be a disaster. By the time the piranhas really begin their killing spree, I was cheering this movie on and fretting over the fact that, at 88 minutes long, the movie would be over fairly quickly. As far as filmmaking merit goes, Piranha is trash, but as a horror movie willing to deliver bloody mayhem, it is pretty successful.

As a comic horror movie, Piranha is also winning, which isn’t all that common among films that mix comedy and horror. Director Alexandre Aja and his writers take the Spring Break movie set on the water and the wall-to-wall gore of a George Romero zombie movie and mix them into a death-by-trauma spectacular. There is so much blood in this movie that it often looks as if someone set off a cherry jello dirty bomb. The underwater shots of piranha pulling eyeballs out of sockets and stripping off flesh like pulled pork thrilled me – with my gleeful laughing as my own personal soundtrack.

Some viewers will consider Piranha a guilty pleasure. Others will wish more horror comedies could deliver the bloody goods the way Piranha does.

5 of 10
B-

Friday, January 21, 2011

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Eastwood + Beyonce May Equal "A Star is Born" Remake

Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Clint Eastwood is in talks with Warner Bros. to direct a remake of the musical, A Star is Born, and Beyoncé is in negotiations to star.  Deadline first reported the story, and Warner has confirmed it.  The article at EW.com has a few more details.

The original A Star is Born was a 1937 romance and drama starring Janet Gaynor and Fredric March.  The best known and perhaps most popular version is the 1954 musical directed by George Cukor and starring Judy Garland and James Mason.  In 1976, the story was retold with Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson, which is apparently the most successful version at the box office.

If you visit the EW article, please read the comments section which is filled with the general moron-arama that is practically every Internet comment section.  So many seem up in arms about Beyonce ruining a classic and expressing dismay that the great Clint Eastwood would dirty himself by directing a no-talent like Beyonce.

I imagine that quite a bit of the complaints center around the fact that this possible Eastwood/Beyonce version mainly offends fans of the 1954 Garland version.  So all the (drama) queens are out in force to protect Garland.  Beyonce may not have 1/10th the talent that Garland had (as one wag put it), but nor is she 1/10th the pill-popper Garland was (Why did I go there, Lord?).  I think Beyonce is quite a talent and quite a star and doesn't need to measure herself against a woman who was dead long before Beyonce was born.

If all it takes is a Beyonce version of A Star is Born to ruin the Garland film then Garland's wasn't shit to begin with.  The simple fact is that A Star is Born is the intellectual property of a hugh corporation that can be exploited whenever the owners see fit and however they see fit.  The only one that can force you to see a new version is yourself, although I'm sure some people will see it just to complain about it.

I'll update when I get more information.